Good evening, dear friends…
Let me begin by saying just how wonderful it is that you’ve found this! My name is Bathrushiatah Von Burenatic Gil Specia Lovieak the Third, Ubiquitous Historian of the Epikos, Surveyor of All Relations and Purveyor of All Chronicles.
But please, Bathrushia will do fine.
I would like, if you have the time, to share a story. It is a story which concerns all of you. Why should it concern you? Well because we’re all characters in this story, that’s why!
You are familiar with what is generally known as the ‘universe’, correct? How wrong and how selfish it is to think that you are so alone… you are not. The Archetypes have been battling right before your very eyes for ages. You see it happening all the time: Order and Chaos, Adoration and Hostility, Creation and Destruction. These are not mere coincidences of human design. They existed long before your species arrived, and will continue long after.
But this is not why I’m here. I am here to educate you all so that when the Archetypes do send their missionaries, you will have already chosen what character you wish to be.
My only hope–only concern–is that I’m not too late…